Joe the Plumber Goes to War

Some people get their fifteen minutes of fame and then it’s done. Some lucky few get a lot longer. Most people don’t even get those few minutes.

Then again, there are some people who get their fifteen minutes and then you just can’t convince them to shut the hell up and go the frakk away.

One such individual is Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher, also known as “Joe the Plumber”.

After being the official mascot of the McCain/Palin campaign of 2008, Joe has gone on to found a website, a charity and a political watchdog group. He even has a publicist, along with his recording contract and book offer!

Okay, I’m all in favor of the Average American getting a break and making the Big Time. But, seriously, what does Joe the Plumber (who isn’t even a plumber) have to offer us? Not a damned thing and it’s no surprise to most people that Joe fell off the media radar scope and back into the depths of obscurity from which he came. Kind of like Godzilla, right?

Anyway, after his short-lived career of selling digital upgrades for analog TV – did you see that commerical? wasn’t he just godawful??? – Joe the Plumber has decided to become Joe the War Correspondent.

I’m not kidding. He’s going to take a microphone and a camera to Israel and interview the Average Joe ( actually the “Average Yosef”) on the streets of Israel to get the views of the average guy on the street. No points for originality there, since it’s been done. But, Mr Average American wants to interview Mr Average Israel and so off he goes to the Promised Land.

Naturally, real war correspondants aren’t too impressed with Joe’s qualifications, or lack thereof. he’s never worked in the media before and his commericals were crap. It seems though, that Pajamas TV has hired Mr Plumber to be their offical correspondant in the Gaza Strip and it leaves me wondering how desperate they must have been to even go looking for some one like him. Didn’t they have any real reporters on-staff?

For those who don’t know, Pajamas TV is a conservative, pro-Israel news organization and that is the niche that Joe was worming his way into during the 2008 campaign. So, it’s a marriage made in Heaven.

My prediction is that Joe’s “reports from the front” will look like the poorer quality YouTube videos when being broadcast over a network.

Hey, don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favor of an average guy making it big.

But, when you consider that so much of his public persona didn’t match with the facts, you gotta have some doubts about whether this guy is really out for the average person in the USA or just for himself. A brief rundown:

  • his parents received welfare while he was growing-up, but he condemns welfare as “taking away from one guy to give to another”.
  • he’s never served in the military, which is standard fare for the Republican chickenhawks.
  • he’s been called “Joe the Plumber”, but he’s never had a plumbing license and he still hasn’t completed the certification course he signed-up for six years ago.

I wish him well. Though I have my doubts about his education in history. He claims that he is not afraid to go into a combat zone, since he’s a Christian and he thinks that G-d will protect him.

Apparently, he is unaware that most of the people who have been killed in the Middle East for the past two thousand years probably had the very same ideas going through their heads when they died, killed by some one who was also thinking that their gods would protect them too.

However, right-wingers, like Michelle Malkin, still have a special place in their hearts for the likes of Joe, spouting accolades of admiration and treating him as if he were some sort of American Hero. It shows a certain desperation on their part, since there seems to be a decided lack of real heroes on the Republican Right. The guys they believed in back in 2000 (i.e. the Bush Administration) have so completely let them down that even conservatives have been attacking the Bush policies for some time now.

Hey, if you don’t have a real hero, invent one I always say!

But, things aren’t going well for the sales of his 192 page book “Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream“. The book’s listing on shows that it has been marked-down from the list price of $24.95, down to a bargain price of $16.47, which is a reduction of 34%. The reviewers haven’t been very kind to it, either. So far, no conservatives have posted any positive reviews of the book at the time this blog has been written.

Lots of luck, Joe the Moron.



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